Barry Special…Mista fashionista! 21 October, 2013
If the Twelfth Man was to do a spoof on Mr Special’s
fashion favourites a la Richie Benaud styley, “the crème, the eggshell, the
beige, the bone, the white, the off white”...Mr Special’s favourites would go
down in history as the following...“the blue, the powder blue, the royal blue, the
midnight blue & the 80’s chambray”, such is his penchant for ‘sporting the
blues’… so much so that we can confidently quote the ‘Village People’, as he’s
well & truly, “In the Navy!”
On a recent shopping ‘event’ in Perth, (‘tis an
event as it’s something we both hate to do, & doing it together only makes
the experience all the more arduous!), Mr Special was ‘let loose’ in Myer, $30
gift voucher in hand, & was on a mission to find a new article of clothing
to add to his already ‘Imelda Marcos’ sized wardrobe. Already being, ‘up to Pussy’s bow’, with our...
‘death by shopping’ experience, I decided to...accidentally, on purpose get
lost & knowing that Mr Special would be fussing around for many an
hour…went to visit the makeup counter on the next floor for some, ‘Botox in a
bottle’! Upon my return to the ‘Men’s
section’, (Botox free, but sporting a very nice new perfume which differed
remarkably to my usual scent of soap & sausage rolls!), I finally found
Barry – after three goes up & down the escalator…us shorter types are often
hard to find in big department stores, we tend to disappear behind the myriad
of clothing racks, only adding to my dislike of clothes shopping – who had,
draped over his forearms (as you may recall being one of his best assets!), a
truckload of polo shirts in every colour of the rainbow, as long as that
rainbow was blue…the powder blue, the royal blue…you get the picture...remember!! After much persuasion &, many, “you’ve
gotta be kidding me’s...”, ‘we’ decided on a very nice striped polo – navy
& white….& being a ‘glass half full’ kinda gal, I saw it as a half a
win!
Frugal Fashionista…
Often in family life, I feel we walk a fine line,
& one particular line we seem to be constantly walking with Barry is that
of, “At what point does frugal become feral?”…I ask you, pulling out old socks,
jocks, pj’s & boxers from the bin (where I try to dispose of said items
‘gracefully’), to use as ‘rags’…Frugal or Feral?
I must admit that over the
past ten years or so, I have purposefully hidden any bras destined for the bin,
for fear of one day seeing them atop a cattle crate or auger, ’cause, “you
can’t waste good wire!!”
The one time the ‘hiding of the smalls’, did back
fire on me however, was a few year’s ago, when a trip to the tip was required,
& unfortunately a pair of Barry’s, Homer Simpson boxer shorts, (which
amazingly enough were not blue!), flew out of a rubbish bag on Carne Road on
their way to the tip, (yes, I had hidden them…no elastic in the waist…not
attractive!), ‘twas a mid-week tip run, & they landed smack bang, in the
middle of the road – I saw them on my way home from town...giggled…& kept
driving…& so did a certain neighbour…& much to Mr Special’s disgust…so did
his mum!! On his way home however…Barry
stopped…picked them up & let it be said…was not happy! Since then I have never disposed of another
pair of Barry’s boxer shorts…so little elastic…so wrong… but I am a woman of my
word!!
Fail Fashionista…
And so in closing…you may think me harsh…but please
stay with me for one more minute while I recount last summer’s, ‘Dilemma of the
Thong’…!
If you found, after a day spent with family at
Rockingham beach, (the home of the ‘byo sofa & trolley on the sand’ on Australia
Day), a pair of, perfectly good, sadly abandoned thongs…size 8, (as it turns
out, just Barry’s size), lying in the sand…looking lonely & sad, would you:
a/ walk away, thinking…”papilloma, foot fungus…wrong”!
b/ “hmm…just my size, nothing wrong with pre-loved –
potential find...hang on...the ball & chain is watching...might make it
into the next Williams news...act disinterested & walk away...you can
always come back later”! Or/
c/ “fabulous opportunity…free thongs…one man’s loss
is another farmer’s gain” – pick them up & continue on your merry way, very
proud of your latest find!
I leave you with this unfortunately very real
quandary...Frugal...or just terribly Feral??
Jen
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