& just who is the man we call Mr Special??

& just who is the man we call Mr Special…? 15^th September, 2013

Not many know this, but Mr Special’s first name is actually Barry…’Barry Special’. 

This ‘stage name’ was thought up after a rather successful New Year’s eve gig at Quindanning two years ago, when Barry, still riding a high from the drug of rapturous applause, (& being on the receiving end of a rather serious ‘come hither’ from a foxy lady swathed in head to toe leopard skin); Mr Special thought a stage name quite apt for a star of his stature (!?) & coupled with an innocent query from a crowd member, that very same evening, “are you Barry Hall?”, the stage name & legend of ‘Barry Special’ was born.

If Barry ever robbed a bank (& let’s hope he wasn’t in charge of driving the get away car), & witnesses had to describe him to police, he could most accurately be described as Nathan Burke & Barry Hall’s love child, but without any of the football talent…or height…or money…(but, word has it that they both hoped for a girl…which explains the hockey!!).

Mr Special is a man who loves to laugh…at his own jokes, does a ripper Richie Benaud & belts out a mean Tina Turner, “Private Dancer”, especially at dinner parties; & just like Tina he has very sexy legs (just ask him!).  Reason for this being that he was once told, by a woman, (he made sure I put this bit in!), back in the eighties, that his calves & forearms are his best features, or so he constantly reminds me, & randomly flexes them at any given moment, often followed by a knowing nod, & the occasional, “ooh yeah baby!”.

“Be Prepared”, is not his motto, nor is, “don’t put off tomorrow, what you can do today”, “don’t sweat the small stuff” & “Live & let Live”.

Fame has not tarnished Barry’s sense of style & lists Jerry Seinfeld as a strong influence!  Recently we went to buy a new pair of jeans, he chose, stonewash Levi 501’s…the eighties were a great decade weren’t they??

Mr Special loves to prune….with a chain saw & front end loader, & often does so wearing a big ugly orange hat, which he loooves & I, haaate, (which only heightens its appeal!).  He has had it now for a couple of years, so what started off as bright fluoro orange, is now more of a burnt crusty orange.  It’s probably the ugliest hat I’ve ever seen in my life & he “CAN’T BELIEVE HE GOT IT FOR FREE!!” which appeals to his other mighty trait...tight-arse-ness!

When occasionally called on to cook, Mr Special loves to go ‘chunky styley’, slabs of cheese, hunks of meat…chunks of vegetables, real ‘manly meals’…& then proceeds to talk about the meal for days afterwards, reminiscing about its ‘fabulousness’.  He once waxed lyrical about a steak sandwich he’d made, for a full week!!  This wouldn’t bother me so much, if he weren’t so quick to point out meals of mine that weren’t so fabulous with the keen observation, “it’s not one of your better ones!”  My Uncle once told him at our engagement party that he should return at least one meal a week, just to keep me on my toes, given that he is still alive, indicates he is not yet stupid enough to follow his advice.

One piece of advice I fear he has taken on board however, is his dad’s theory regarding dishwasher’s… “They make women lazy”, was the comment made by Little Mussolini in reaction to our request to have one in the new kitchen.  Unfortunately ever since then, Barry never puts anything in it & we’ve had it for over a decade!…(& only ever empties it when he knows he’s seriously in the poo – ‘the Barry Special apology’, I like to call it!).  On many occasions I’ve had to point out that the small white box in the kitchen is indeed not a mini bar – even the kids get it!

He doesn’t do pain, or discomfort of any kind & hates being ‘put out’…which always sits well when you have three young kids, three Labradors, two fish & a rabbit!

Mr Special is not a great lover of ‘pets’ & keeps trying to convince the kids that he is allergic to cats, (which I am convinced is complete BS as he grew up with them).  When we were talking about getting a rabbit, Macy asked him, very sarcastically, “Are you allergic to them too daddy??”  I know for a fact that the kids have picked up every bit of bad language from hearing him come home only to discover something that the ‘pets’ have done just to, ‘put him out!’

Thankfully, however, he does have a good sense of humour (when healthy!), & despite being convinced that he is never wrong & a West Coast Eagles supporter, we’ve grown rather fond of him over the years…& like a comfy old sofa, he may be a bit battered around, but the place wouldn’t be the same without him!

Until next time...

Jen 

Ps. To avoid legal action, I have been asked to print a retraction from my last article & stipulate that ‘Mr Special has never sung Nora Jones in the shower’...oh please!!