Laughing in the Face of Fear...6th May, 2013
The
year was 2006 and we were driving along Armadale Road, headed towards Subiaco
& the obstetrician’s office (Mr Special was hoping it would be for the
third & final time!!).
Soph
& Charlie were in the back, strapped in like they were about to be shot out
of a cannon. I was driving, as I can’t stand ‘Driving
(with) Miss Daisy’... Daisy was in the passenger seat!
As
I changed from the left hand lane into the right (dual carriage way), a Harley
was in the middle of the road, trying to join the flow of traffic & typical
to form of most motorcyclists I come across, pulled straight out in front of
me. Daisy had a fit... the guy on the
bike, turned out to be a ‘bikie’ as opposed to a ‘biker’, and was most upset
when his attempt to cut in front of us failed.
No
sooner had Miss Daisy explained away his reaction (or rather, gross over
reaction), by recounting a story about his friend, who had years ago found
himself in a similar situation & as a consequence had his car door kicked
in, that I looked in the rear view mirror to see Daisy’s worst nightmare
rapidly bringing it up the rear...Daisy began tapping his fingers repeatedly against
his pursed lips...a ‘Signature Move’, signalling his realisation that something
stressful was about to happen. He
immediately made for the electric window button, “hurry up...hurry up, agghh
Holden!!”
At
this point in the story I should add that we had only owned our family
truckstar for about three months & it still had the faint aroma of the new
car smell, (which was soon to be overtaken by ‘kid smell’ & stale chips!),
so Daisy was still very much in the ‘honeymoon’ stage of car ownership!
Before
I knew it, the Small Angry Bikie Guy, was riding next to us, he was in the left
lane, we were in the right...& Daisy was in hell!
Much
to my amusement, Angry started trying to kick the car, ordinarily this wouldn’t
be funny, but his legs were shorter than mine.
I was impressed...idiocy abounds!
As
if on cue, I started laughing, (as I always seem to do in any given stressful
or scary situation.... ‘laugh in the face of fear’, that’s me!), but this time
it was made worse by having Daisy next to me, looking straight ahead, dead pan
serious whilst mumbling, “shut up, it’s not funny”, and thus significantly
increasing the tempo of the ‘lip tapping’ manoeuvre... “if he kicks our car,
you’re dead!”
Personally,
I couldn’t help thinking, “if those little legs made it anywhere near our car,
the miracle would be worth the threat of ‘death’.
I
wouldn’t even mind the inevitable trip to the Emergency Room to deal with
Daisy’s ever looming anxiety attack...& the drugs needed to curb the
tapping....ooh the tapping!
After
giving up on trying to kick our door, Angry then pulled out his secret
weapon...the seriously scary girlfriend!
He
pulled in front of us & then unleashed his weapon (so to speak!). She was sitting on the back of his bike, he
had three teeth, she had two, he had no hair, she had the seventies perm…&
was quite the multi-tasker! This woman
(?), could balance on the back of a bike, whilst turning 180 degrees, mouth
some very impressive insults whilst giving less than polite hand gestures – I
was impressed…how could I not reciprocate…best not, Daisy would not be amused
and let’s not forget Soph & Charlie in the back…who were far more
interested in sucking on thumbs (Soph) or big toes (Charlie), than any
run-of-the-mill road rage incident they may have been involuntarily involved in!
Unfortunately
by this stage I had tears running down my face, was bright red & was
struggling to breathe...I didn’t know what was funnier, Angry & his Secret
Weapon or Daisy having conniptions in the seat next to me.
Suddenly
the Gods seemed to smile down on Miss Daisy, (or feel very concerned for his
mental health!), for as we approached the traffic lights, Angry & The Weapon
sped through, I suspect to abuse again another day.
Leaving
us behind with nothing but the memory of a thoroughly memorable trip to Perth
& much enlightenment on my part, as to Mr Special’s handling of himself in
the face of fear...tap your lips profusely & threaten your wife with death! I feel so reassured...
Jen
x
Ps.
three months later, Macy was born...& the ‘lip tapping’ started once more!
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