Mr Special Takes a Shower

Mr Special Takes a Shower: 1^st July, 2013

For anyone who is a fan of Mr Special’s vocal talents I would suggest setting up a seat outside our bathroom window at any given time that his Lordship is taking a shower, ‘cause the old vocal cords sure do get a work out. 

I would have to say that he must be one of the cleanest people in town if shower time is anything to go by & he’s such a busy little beaver in there! 

Phase one of his bathroom ritual sees him standing under the water, very still, mouth open & just making some kind of dead animal groaning sound, this is the beginning – even David Attenborough would be enthralled! 

Phase two is far more physical, this is where he gets all lathered up & the tunes start to burst forth from his soapy silhouette.  He doesn’t ever really cover anything written post 2000, but just concentrates on the classics (or anything he is currently learning for repertory).  So there is a lot of Mustang Sally, Elton John, Michael Buble & when feeling mellow, Norah Jones gets a work out, (he saves Queen for the vacuuming – naturally it’s “I want to break free”, thank goodness he doesn’t vacuum very often!).

It takes a good 20 minutes for phase two to reach it’s pinnacle – where he often tries to hit rather ridiculously high notes – clearly the red hot water is taking affect on various parts of his anatomy ‘cause he really belts those babies out!  This is around the time that the kids get involved & start dancing ‘round the lounge room singing along, large amounts of steam are emerging from under the bathroom door & creeping up the hallway & I reach my saturation level, where I either go outside to get some peace or deliberately turn on the hot water tap in the kitchen!

Phase three is the wind down stage, where Mr Special either attempts to shave (& then I end up calling the paramedics to help ease the flow of bleeding!) or he tries to squash the last of the soap down the plug hole, which he then blames on the kids.

Phase four sees the ‘emerging’ from the bathroom – this is probably in my view, the most dramatic of all the four phases as it often reminds me of a bad 80’s music video by such pop-rock bands as White Snake or Bon Jovi...cue the smoke machine, enter the ‘rock God’, swathed only in a towel (if you’re lucky).  The door flies open, all you can see is steam & somewhere in the background a big red silhouette of a man (covered in Norman Gunsten-like tissues all over his face if having attempted shaving!), there is normally a ROAR of some kind, or maybe just a continuation of ‘Mr Special’s Classic Hits’, either way, it’s not pretty!  The figure takes off down the hallway at a great rate of knots, & like so many streakers before him, he is light on his feet, & swift to elude the children that race up the passageway after him – until he reaches the bedroom to change & get on with his evening, quietly satisfied in the knowledge that in less than twelve hours time, he shall get to repeat the ritual that is ‘Mr Special & his funky bathroom antics’.

Jen